Truth

I'm starting to wonder if it's actually hard being someone with 'special needs'. I'm not even thinking about the poor souls that are bedridden, or go through numerous bouts of cancer. I just mean the people with Downs Syndrome, Autism, etc. The rarely-fatal-but-life-altering issues.

I occasionally have quite serious talks with Beth about how she wants to be like me & our other sister. She's told me that she's 'all done' with being 'like this', and that she doesnt like being different. I automatically try to change the topic, or use the cheesy "We're all different!" lines, but I think she's starting to catch on. Still, what do you say? I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do? That's horrible. But, is it better to say that than to say nothing or to change the topic? She often brings up her desire to drive, go to prom, and go on dates. I try to deter here by listing the negatives, which usually works for a little while. A long term fix would be better, though.

I can't really imagine wanting to do so much but only being allowed to do so little due to reasons beyond your control. Beth watches Disney Channel, and went to public school, so she has a vague idea of what she's missing. She sees Sharaya and me come and go with our social lives, family, and jobs and she knows there are inescapable odds that she won't have half of it.

My altime favorite Shia LaBeouf movie is Tru Confessions. It was a Disney Channel Original Movie back in the early early 2000's. In it, Tru has a twin brother (Shia) with special needs. Whoever wrote it must have experienced this all first hand, and it's so real. My favorite scene captures a bit of what I'm talking about:

Small Talk

One night when my parents were on a date I decided to take Beth to her favorite restaurant - McDonalds - and a movie. Whilst at McDonalds we were talking about the show Hannah Montana, how much she loved Nick Jonas, and how excited for the movie she was.

Then, suddenly, she changed topic.

She started talking to me about how badly she didn't want to die, and how much she's going to miss us when she goes. She said she was excited to be with our late grandma, but that she didn't want to die first. She didn't want our parents to die, but she didn't want to die before them. Then she asked me if I would miss her, too.

Coming from someone who's conversation topics rarely stray from what's been on the Disney Channel recently, I was dumbstruck. So was our sister Sharaya when I told her the news. Beth never usually opens up to anyone about anything, let alone life's intricacies.

I guess you just never know what goes on in their minds.