Judgement Day

I often find myself only wanting to write on here in negative situations, but refrain from doing so as thats not what I wanted this to be.

Today, though, I have a topic that's neither negative nor embarassing!

I'm sitting here at work and a father and his daughter are waiting in our waiting area. His daughter, I've noticed, is about three or four, very energetic, and has Downs! It's hard for me to not sit here and watch them the whole time, as little kids with Downs are the cutest things to me! Anyway, the girl's dad noticed my noticing and I could tell he's been on the defense before. I never feel comfortable saying, "Oh, you're daughter has Downs? So does my older sister!" because there is always that chance that the kid has genetically small features, or is just innately joyful. I never risk it =)

Well, due to this, I had an epiphany: How the people around me treat people with disabilities severely impacts my relationship with them, even if they don't know it. Most of the people in my life don't know about my sister, simply because I chose in high school to stop defining myself by my family in general. Because of this, people are less inhibited when interacting with people with disabilities around me, I've found. In first grade, my best friend knew my sister, but was terrifed of her. She did not associate with disabled kids, but would force herself to with my sister. In tenth grade my best friend knew and had a laugh with (not at) the kids in the Special Ed program, without knowing about my sister. There is a man with autism (asberger's, I think) that comes into my work every day, and it's so interesting seeing my coworkers interact with him. No one here knows about my sister's disability, and not everyone is nice to the guy. At all. Some people baby him, some people talk to him like he's a human being, and some people try their best to ignore him, even though he knows all of their names, and even when he's standing right in front of them. I'm not sure if it's a personality thing, but I'm pretty sure it's because of my sister that I judge people on such 'simple' terms.

Truth

I'm starting to wonder if it's actually hard being someone with 'special needs'. I'm not even thinking about the poor souls that are bedridden, or go through numerous bouts of cancer. I just mean the people with Downs Syndrome, Autism, etc. The rarely-fatal-but-life-altering issues.

I occasionally have quite serious talks with Beth about how she wants to be like me & our other sister. She's told me that she's 'all done' with being 'like this', and that she doesnt like being different. I automatically try to change the topic, or use the cheesy "We're all different!" lines, but I think she's starting to catch on. Still, what do you say? I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do? That's horrible. But, is it better to say that than to say nothing or to change the topic? She often brings up her desire to drive, go to prom, and go on dates. I try to deter here by listing the negatives, which usually works for a little while. A long term fix would be better, though.

I can't really imagine wanting to do so much but only being allowed to do so little due to reasons beyond your control. Beth watches Disney Channel, and went to public school, so she has a vague idea of what she's missing. She sees Sharaya and me come and go with our social lives, family, and jobs and she knows there are inescapable odds that she won't have half of it.

My altime favorite Shia LaBeouf movie is Tru Confessions. It was a Disney Channel Original Movie back in the early early 2000's. In it, Tru has a twin brother (Shia) with special needs. Whoever wrote it must have experienced this all first hand, and it's so real. My favorite scene captures a bit of what I'm talking about: